The Road to H-E-double toothpicks is Paved With Gingerbread

Mummy's comments regarding Sara's Gingerbread house post:

1. It's a good idea to always use hot glue to assemble and decorate the house. It makes it very hard to change your mind or your candy pattern in the event you run out of something.

2. When trying to take a self portrait with your own long arm, wait until the old person with you isn't trying to find where the camera is through her bifocals.

3. What Sara didn't mention was that she had had her tonsils out a few days before. Everytime we busted up laughing, she would cry because it would hurt so very much. Tonsilectomy patients can't swallow the additional saliva created when laughing hard. It isn't a pretty sight, but it does increase the laughing time ten fold.

4. Do not let someone on strong pain meds try to build a house with a hot glue gun or operate heavy machinery - like a mixer. She thought it was catching on fire because of the hot smell. (I got a new kitchenaid mixer for Christmas out of it though!)

5. If you run out of Necos for the cool colorful roof, just wait to finish it another day even if it causes great disappointment for a tonsilectomy patient.

HERE'S THE STORY-It's late on a nice Sunday evening in St. George. We ran out of Neco shingles because we are such expert roofers. Sara begs me to go get more Necos. It is the most important thing in the world that we finish the house THAT NIGHT.

I say, I am not going to h-e-double chopsticks for Necos. She pleads longer. I'm standing steadfast and immovable. No. She whines more about Necos. No. Whine. No. Plea. . . . I'm not so steadfast and I'm no longer immovable -I begin to waffle because it's such a pathetic plea, . . . so, I made Richard go with me. If we burn, we'll burn together.

Buying on Sunday!

I'm falling in . . .to a burnin' ring of figh-er.

(I shake if I buy tea to tea stain fabric and don't even ask for pop with caffeine because it will cause me to have heart palpitations.)

So we go. What are the odds my hypocritical face will be recognized on Sunday at 9pm in a deserted Albies? VERYHIGH-a family from Diamond Valley is there to get milk for their starving family. Lovely. I'm not as concerned with them seeing me as I am for my soul . . . oh yeah, and Richard's since I made him go too.

I went down, down, down, . . .and the flames went high-er.

Did you know that they make TWO kinds of Necos now? Bet you didn't. Regular and Smoothies. Albertson's on Bluff Street has Smoothies-only. Albertson's on Telegraph has regular-only. Yep. The one closest to home didn't have the kind that half of our gingerbread roof was sporting! We bought enough to shingle a gingerbread village. Came home and pulled off the SMOOTHIE shingles (remember the hot glue hint?) and replaced them with the "going to h . . e . . .double hockeysticks" REGULAR shingles.

And it burns, burns, burns . . . .that ring of figh-er . . . .that ring of figh-er.

6. As for the cat, it wasn't that funny. Sara was on great pain meds! (Just kidding, Sara! :D)

The Cost of Courage

Imagine a 90 degree angle. And a 45 degree angle. Now somewhere between the two will be a 72.7 degree angle that you can easily say would make for a very, very, very steep incline. Spot the cable car? Now follow its' path to the observation building at the top. Yep-we did it. Richard, our four grandsons and I.

At the southern most part of the Appalachians stands Lookout Mountain. It straddles the states of Tennessee and Georgia. A cable railway will take you to the top and down again. The incline is so steep that the rail car is built at a 45 degree angle. It is the steepest railway IN THE WORLD! (This is the view going down. Christopher took it)

Here's the kicker. I said, "I think it might be scary" "Geez, Grandma, you jumped out of a plane-you can do anything!" Having been courageous in one thing, has led to my captivity of being courageous in all things! Is that bad? My niece Courtney said, "Something has happened to you in your old age." I guess she's right.

From the incline we went to Rock City. What a beautiful area! It overlooks the Chattanooga Valley and you can see "forever"!



Lover's Leap is the the most beautiful part of Rock City, but also the scariest. There is a rope bridge, "floating platform" and a very dangerous, terrifyingly high lookout. We did it. And we loved it-because we were with loved ones. Courage is good if it affords us such opportunities.

Thankful

I love Thanksgiving. I loved it as a kid when we would spend it with my mother's sister's family. It was a great time as we'd load up in the station wagon and head "down home" to have dinner with our favorite cousins, our only cousins within 10 years of own age. Aunt Bernitta and Mom were so much fun when they were together. They'd laugh and sing and joke and fix Thanksgiving dinner.

I hardly remember the food, but I remember the road games we played and the traveling songs we sang to pass the four hours of travel. I remember being very "proud" when I was finally old enough to sleep in the "girls' room" rather than the "kids' room". I remember looking for the right pickles on Aunt Bernitta's basement storage shelves. I remember wanting to be the first to choose a "character" spoon from big brown jar to eat breakfast with. I remember wall to wall kids and tables that stretched from the kitchen to the front door, when we all sat down to eat. We sang songs and endlessly played "heart and soul" on the out of tune honky tonk piano. I remember a one and only small black and white tv that served everyone in the house. I remember sincerely hoping the only bathroom was free of occupants when it was time to "go" or you'd get directed to the two seater outhouse and that was bad.

Mostly I remember that we had a ball, we loved each other, and we were sad when it was time to sojourn back home. I loved that time and am thankful for the memories that have lingered of family, favorite cousins, and Aunt Bernitta's pickles.

Surf's Up

I'm home in St. George, waiting for Richard to return from Albuquerque, New Mexico. He bought a motorcycle on ebay and flew there to seal the deal. Now he's riding it home . . .wild thing!

Our new hobby-motorcycles. It appears that Lagoon & skydiving were just the beginning. We're heading across country this Spring. Can't wait!

Surf's up in Costa Rica, Jami. Got your board ready?

hermit crab

You've seen them in the pet store hiding in their shells. And you've probably tried to coax them out, too, only to be grossed out by their bazaar appearance. Prepare yourself. Glamour-R-Us is found nowhere in this tale of, "Hermit Crab in Flight"



People have asked me about the scenery. "Was it beautiful?" Who cares about scenery when you're trying to preserve your life and not swear like a sailor while doing so?



























"Did it 'get' your stomach?" What stomach? For 2 minutes you feel like you're in a wind tunnel, except you're falling-and that's at 120mph with a dude strapped to your back trying to take pictures of you. Then you get whipped back up 2 kazillion feet, when the 'chute opens and the word harness takes on a whole new meaning. Corsett, PUSHUP BRA, tribal torture methods of white safari hunters in Tarzan movies flashed into my mind. Who even knows if you have a stomach?

"Would you do it again?" I would do it again-for the same reason I did it this time, but I would be just as scared and my photos would be just as frightening. I would relax and enjoy the ride next time-I'm saying that with my feet firmly planted on the ground, of course. It was "fun" being there with Sara and if my being there increased her enjoyment, it was worth it. I know it increased her laughter!

"Sissy Aunt"? (I love you, too, Jody)"Wanny Baby Mom"? "Dork" and "Nerd"? They don't fit me anymore. I graduated to "COOL" according to my daughter and I can never return!



We (Richard and I, and likely Sara) are taking a cross country motorcycle trip this coming Spring. My dad wants to be in the pilot car, so that along the way, we can pull up to the side of it and he can hand us drinks out the window. Any takers on driving Grandpa's pilot car? Anybody else have any bucket list items they want me to be a part of?

Lady Sponges First

In Tarpon Springs, Florida, they sell "Shells Wholesale to the Public Sponges"! So, we spent the day being "public sponges" with Ruben, Margaret and our grandsons, Andrew, Chris, Sam and Bradley.

The boys are active, lively, hysterically funny, and adorable. The hotel we stayed at in Clearwater Beach had an elevator. The first time the 8 of us approached it, they raced to hit the button. I was thinking surely it was to be the first to enter and prepare for my favorite elevator trick-jump when it begins to descend. I was so wrong.
Sam hit the elevator button, then all four boys lined up along the wall and with a sweeping arm motion, said, "Ladies first."
Not once, not twice, but every time we approached a door, a chair, or a morsel of food. "Ladies first" was the comment.
And then they'd have a burping contest.
Kudos to Ruben and Margaret for raising such well mannered, yet normal boys.






We miss our Georgia boys. We miss being involved in their daily comings and goings. We miss getting to be the fun grandparents. When Richard goes to Florida, and as his time allows, he drives up to Georgia for the weekend. I spend those weekends in Utah feeling jealous, envious, and wishing I was there or that they were here. I think the Grandma Sponge should get her wish more often.

Sea Turtles

Sea turtles lay their eggs in a masterfully built "nest" along the beach. Afterward, they return to the ocean and the eggs are left to incubate on their own. Then they hatch. This is where you close your eyes if you're a mom watching this on National Geographic. Cute little baby turtles spring up from the sand nests and waddle with all of their might to the safety of the ocean. Hundreds of little babies running for all they're worth to the water . . . and then, a big ugly bird swoops down, or an alligator lying in the sea grass spies their delectable little shells, or sea monster sees them and gulp . . .they're gone.

Sara just turned 25. For her birthday, she decided to tempt fate and go skydiving. She asked her brother to go with her. She asked her cousin to go with her. She asked a friend to go with her. "No" was the only response she received. Then the little turtle said, "Then I will do it all by myself . . .but I won't tell my mother, because she is old and frail and feeble of mind. The stress of the very thought of me doing this dangerously stupid thing will be too much for her fragile nature and she will likely die." (I embellished that part a little bit.)

Momma found out!

For two days, I fretted. For one sleepness night, I pondered. Then, I made the offer. "I will go with you OR I will give you a tangible gift." Sara's response, her joy and her smile were worth the trauma that followed. There was no thrill seeking for me. I am simply not a sea turtle. I couldn't let the bird swoop, the alligator lunge, or the sea monster gulp. I am a mother.

Happy Birthday, Sara. Thank you for letting your feeble, frail, old mum take part in your adventure. Now, don't ever do that again!

(photo cd showing absolute joy and elation of falling from 15,000 ft at 120mph has not yet been received. please stay tuned)

The Black Lagoon

I don't do heights. I don't do edges. Don't drive on roads that have cliffs and don't back down a boat ramp. I've learned that if it's necessary because I'm a passenger/prisioner, I can close my eyes, or ask to be let out and I walk it.


I have real nightmares of gravity "giving out" as I'm in the middle of a STEEP incline, like Airport Road in St. George, and I fall backward off the hill. I'm a wimp.

So a trip to Lagoon's "Frightmares" seems quite odd, you'd think. BUT, my drive to be a cool grandma outweighed my fears. I did Lagoon. I went on rides-not all but enough to be cool. Richard was behind me all the way . . . .except in the lines. A qweezy stomach keeps his feet on the ground. He's secure with who he is and doesn't need to prove his cool grandpa status.


Adam and Sara could be thrill junkies-catapult, shriekers, corkscrews-I get sick writing about it!
Long lines were my friends. It meant fewer rides. But, I went and when I closed my eyes on the rickity old roller coaster or the very dangerous, fast, and extremely high "Paratrooper", my grandsons bellowed above all the noise in the park, "Open your eyes, Grandma. Face your fears."

I'm thankful for sunglasses.

Starfish in the Gulf

During WWII, my dad served in the army. I am and have always been very proud of that fact. Dad and a friend hitchhiked around the coast of Florida during a leave. He's never been back since that time.

My mother has traveled around the country-not to vacation or sightsee, but to visit kids in all the places we've lived. Texas, Georgia, North Carolina, Virginia. She's traveled, but not to Florida. It was time.

We traveled together to Clearwater. Uncertain of their comfort and health, I was nervous, Richard thought of everything in order to ensure their comfort. It couldn't have gone better.

Now, my dad can't wait to go back. He has become the biggest fan of Tampa Bay's sports teams. It gives him an opportunity to see the places we visited again. My mom is convinced that she would be able to get used to beachlife. She has come to understand my love for the sand, the sun and the sound of the waves . . . .or she just enjoyed not having to be responsible for anything for a couple of hours. Whichever it was, it was nice to see her enjoyment.

"The Guppies"

When I was a child, Art Linkletter had a show, and a segment of it was titled "Kids Say the Darndest Things". I don't remember the specifics, but I remember it was funny because of the responses of the kids. Now I listen to my grandsons and agree, kids do say the darndest things. They make me laugh with their priceless exchanges.

When complimenting Joshua on his math skills, I said, "You are very smart!"

"I know I am, Grandma. I am very smart. I smarter than . . . .um . . .well, I won't say that," he replied.

To which Carson chimed in, "I'm smarter that Carson. I'm smarter Carson. He always says that, Grandma, he says, 'I'm smarter than Carson.' and it hurts my feelings!"

One of my favorites is a the "lying" battle. One will tattle on the other, bringing up a routine argument of:

"I did not . . .he's lying."

"I'm not lying, you are lying."

"I am not lying. You are being rude."

"I am not rude. You are rude."

"I am not rude, you are just trying to make yourself proud."

"I'm not proud, you are lying."

"I'm not lying. . . " . . . and on it goes.

Their father was explaining the need to follow the house rules. "Sit at the table and eat your breakfast."

"Why? I don't want to. I want to eat by the tv."

"Sit at the table. That's the rule."

"Why do I have to follow your rules?"

"Because I'm the Dad and I have rules!"

"Well, I have rules for my own life."

I'm guessing that the next time you hear, "You''re lying" -you'll hear in you're head "I'm not lying, you are lying . . . . . ." I'm going to make some rules for my own life.

Sand Dunes

One day, Richard and I were discussing where we'd each like to travel to. We both thought that traveling back to the Eastern Shore of Virginia would be a great trip. Going "home" can be dishearting

Then Richard surprised me with that trip in July of 2006. We were in Tampa and caught an afternoon flight to Virginia. We stayed in Virginia Beach that night, then traveled across the bay bridge tunnel whose toll is now $12, and up the Eastern Shore. We found the new LDS chapel in Onley and realized again, that you can't go home. We knew only a few of the members, as it's grown considerably, and those few did not remember us, although they courteously said they did. It's the South.

We drove out to our home on Plantation Road and found it abandoned, although the Riley's are still there. They've been watching over it since we left . . .since 1870 or so, actually. They occupy the family plot on "our" land. It was sad, but brought closure to the longing of wanting to return or relive those times. Tuck those memories away and treasure them. You can't go back.

Then to our beach~Assateague Island. It's where we spent the magical summers while we lived in Virginia. It's a barrier island and a state park. There are wild ponies, a lighthouse, 100's of migratory birds, but no stores, no boardwalks, no picnic tables. Pure beach. We loved it. A cooler full of beach food, umbrella, chairs, towels and boogie boards-just the necessities.

Time has changed even the beach. No dunes. A hurricane had taken them out a few years earlier. But the sand, the leftover sandcastles, the sound of the waves were still there. We went for a Monday morning sunrise, got back in the rental car and drove back down the shore, out to our home and bid it a fond good-bye. Stopped at Marsh Jewelers for a Chesapeake Bay bracelet (an Onancock custom) and headed back across the $12 bridge.

It was an enchanting, serene visit to what was at one time "Home". The best part of it was that we were together to enjoy the trip. Home for me is where my family is-Utah, Nevada, Arizona, Montana, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Washington, Missouri and maybe Portugal.